HISTORY

An Account of Hand-to-Hand Combat 1812 I
Battle of Queenston Heights

I fired my gun at the darned Britishers, and plunged up the bank without loading, for the Colonel ordered us to charge. I had just scrambled up, about 20 feet, and come on a considerable flat; on the water side was a low breastwork from which they had fired on us. I had just got to my feet when a big Irish Grenadier came full tilt at me with is bayonet. I dodged and slipped past him and both of us turned around. We both fired our guns and it was to be settled with the bayonet. I wished he had run, and I wouldn't hinder him, but an Irishman isn't of a running kind anyway. This chap looked as if he was after meat, and Yankee meat at that, and I didn't feel like supplying him. But it looked for a minute as if I would have to. He would jab, and I would dodge; then I would jab and he would parry, for he was up in bayonet practice, and I knew nothing about it. He was big and stout, and I long and thin. I was glad, for I had the most surface to work on. Now, my friend, I am willing to make an affidavit that I never had a busier five minutes in my life than in taking care of my bread-basket, then. It began to look as if there was going to be an empty place in old Massachusetts after this way was over, but just then he made a lunge at me his foot slipped; before he could gather up I ran him through.

My friend, perhaps you never thought of the difference between a bullet and bayonet, to tackle with. Well, a bullet you can't see; if it hits you it hits you, and if it don't, it don't, and you can't dodge it any way. But a durned bayonet is in your sight all the time; it is right towards you, and not at your big toe either; it is aimed right at where it can do damage. I couldn't keep my eyes off that Irishman's face, and he wasn't handsome, either. I suppose I was no great picture to him. I ain't much in the looking glass line anyway, but I could see just where that durned bayonet was pointing all the time; it seemed as if I could see the very button it was coming for, and I didn't look down, either. Well, the long and short of it is, I don't take much stock in the bayonet, anyhow, and with the bib Irishman behind it was worse. I can stand up and shoot all day, and did that day, but if I can have my choice, when it comes to jabbing with bayonets I ain't in it. No, Sir? I ain't.